My dog turns three in one hour.
The joke is that I put a beer in his bowl because he’ll be turning 3 which is 21 in dog years. I have been planning this joke for a week.
“youre always on your computer” well ur always on my nerves
do you ever stay in the shower for so long you forget who you are
ok but what happened in 2007
SEND EVERYONE YOU KNOW A MORNING TEXT. WEAR A BOWTIE TODAY. HIGH FIVE STRANGERS. GIVE AWAY LOLLIPOPS. COMPLIMENT PEOPLE. STEAL A CHILD.
i’ve already done one of those and now he won’t stop crying and it’s annoying
must have been an aggressive high five
seven days without a pun makes one weak
baby, i don’t care about your stomach
or your legs
or how big your boobs are
i don’t care about you at all
leave me alone
I can’t decide if
- someone stabbed someone else over a cheeseburger
- someone stabbed someone else with a cheeseburger
- someone stabbed a cheeseburger
- a cheeseburger stabbed someone
- a cheeseburger stabbed another cheeseburger
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep